You gotta lotta ‘splainin’ to do, Vicki Batman

My guest today, Vicki Batman, is a true ManWARrior. Not just because she has that cool last name, but also because she’s not afraid to use the word “panties”—and you know how the Man Writing a Romance feels about that.

In her humorous romantic caper novel Temporarily Employed, Vicki goes so far as to introduce something the Man Writing a Romance hadn’t thought of: Wet, squishy panties. That demanded some ’splainin’, and she was happy to oblige—and to delve deeper into questions about police officers, gender-specific variants of heat and pine-scented guys.

In Temporarily Employed, Hattie says, “I wiggled, feeling my underwear squishy with sweat, a puddle spreading across my back.” Are we talking about a bra here? Or panties? I love the word “panties” because it’s so precise compared to “underwear.” Why do so many women hate the word “panties”? (P.S.: When Hattie’s in A. Wellborn’s house and her cheeks get hot—is it her panties again? Maybe she should switch brands. I suggest Sweaty Betty’s 100% ultra-fine combed ring-spun 1×1 baby rib cotton thong, sized up for a looser fit. Made in the USA, too.)
I just got a Sweaty Betty catalog!
I can’t believe we’re going to the dark side of underwear. LOLOL. I use the word panties. I grew up using the word panties. Now, I use undies because little boys don’t wear panties. My sons wore Batman undies then they wore Batman boxers. Once, Handsome bought me a thong. I think I lasted five minutes. –so not me—
RE: “I wiggled, feeling my underwear squishy with sweat, a puddle spreading across my back:”  I’m guessing you have never experienced a really hot summer afternoon when your new car’s a/c went kaput, the job interview you’d just had went horrible, and to top this extra special day off, a cop pulls you over to give you a citation, thus cementing this as a bad day of all lifetime. Sweat rolled down your spine, soaking your high-quality briefs. The only thing you want to do is go home and shower.
Hattie has a special pink bra and panty set, and somehow, the panties are misplaced. Think commando. LOL.
What’s the difference between man-heat and womanly-heat? Because Hattie makes womanly-heat sound wet and squishy.
Men are more hot-natured than women (excluding women experiencing hot flashes). Man-heat is when a guy is so close to you—for example, has his big muscular arms wrapped around your body-and his warmth penetrates to your core. Definitely not wet and squishy. Definitely desirable.

You obviously have a thing for cops. Who’s hotter—good cops, or bad cops?

My experience with cops is very limited. I do have a writer friend who is a cop, and he is hilarious.
Not long ago, I was pulled over by a cop wearing shorts—in fact, he was short—who wanted to give me a ticket for speeding (40 mph in a 25 zone—is that really speeding?). I told him I didn’t get tickets. He went to verify, license and insurance slip in his hand. He came back and said your last ticket was ten years ago. I was like, really? He gave me a warning.

I participated in the Citizen’s Police Academy, and they kept laughing every time someone said my name. Why’s that?

So it isn’t about a good cop or a bad cop. It’s about that attractive twinkle in a man’s eye and a tiny bit of danger or adventure about him. And if he makes you laugh, sold!
If it’s great when a man smells “piney,” what’s the best a man can smell?
LOL. I always told #2 son he didn’t want to be known as the smelly kid. I buy him lots of bath products that have a good scent. (Here’s hoping he doesn’t read this interview and kill me).
However, we all know men don’t smell like women. There’s great smelling shampoo and body washes. Too much cologne is too much. But when a guy steps really close, dips his head near yours, you get a whiff of the essence of him right below his ear and along his neck. He makes a soft exhale that barely grazes your cheek, making you go still and yet, yearning for more, all without him touching you
Wow-wee. I need a fan NOW.
A fan would work. But an ebook or paper copy of Temporarily Employed, available from Wild Rose Press or Amazon would work, too—and when you’re not using it to cool your jets, it’s a fun read in any weather.

You can also check out Vicki at her website, on Facebook or Goodreads.

15 thoughts on “You gotta lotta ‘splainin’ to do, Vicki Batman”

  1. Hi, Sloan! Fortunately, I married it, but his family says Batmun. I was like seriously? Everyone else says Bateman like the e isn't there. I am Batman and proud. lolol

    I'm gonna have to save that response for a book. lol

    Hi, Chris! Way back in my single days I had a date that splashed on too much all the time. Ick. I thought surely it was an accident. Nope, all the time. We didn't go out much longer.

    Hi, D'Ann! That's cause you are a cowgirl. LOL But I'm a city girl with a citified mama. Panties.

    Hi, Melissa! I think we should give DC a list in case he needs a substitute word. Thanks for posting.

  2. I have always said panties! Underwear are for men! And those damn thongs are painful! Hell no! My sister in law bought a package of thongs by mistake once and gave them to me saying, "I figured since you write those books, you would wear these!" Um…no. And my husband doesn't have fangs or turn into a wolf either! So happy about that! Give me cotton panties any day of the week!!! Who cares??? No one can see the sexy lace ones anyhow unless it's my husband and that's for two seconds before I kick them off!!! And who wants those soggy ones from too much heat if you smell the guy with the subtle pine scent!!! Good lord!! Panties, panties, panties!!! Cotton, cotton, cotton!!!!

  3. Vicki, since you insist on thinking liking a woman re thongs, let me put it like this: What does the band on your engagement ring do? Show off the diamond, right? Is that impractical?

  4. Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave–that is bait I am not going to dive into. Too dangerous. lol

    Hi, Sandra! I love this girl from the south and how to mention unmentionables. Laughing. Still laughing.

  5. Hey, Vicki, Yes, it is absolutely "panties," unless you specifically refer to "thongs." Underwear is a generic term and could refer to a bra or t-shirt. For men, I say boxers or briefs. Best to be specific in writing, you know. I do think it's our southern upbrining. My mama was a South Carolina girl, and I was born there. LOL Very fun post. I'll share.

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