The women in my writers group were surprised that Holt, Sushma’s suitor in Malibu Bride, is enamored with four-eyed women. Although I am well aware of what boys don’t make in regards to girls who wear glasses, I was surprised by that reaction, though my hasty and incomplete Internet research says I shouldn’t be.
Apparently, zero percent of women are aware that one hundred percent of men find ocular enhancement devices sexy.
“Women,” medical anatomist Michelle Gwynn writes in an Examiner.com
article, “spend money on contacts or Lasix to avoid wearing glasses, fearing the stigma of being the geeky girl or the nerd. And for what? Men find glasses to be darn sexy!”
writer Bob Strauss seconds that emotion: “Every guy loves a girl in glasses, but women never seem to know that. It’s not like we’re keeping it a secret—why would we? It’d mean fewer girls in glasses!”
Plus, if you Google something like “do men think women in glasses are sexy?” you’ll get thousands of hits, not for intellectual discussions about the topic, but for archives of anywhere from 10 to unreasonably large numbers of pictures of “hot women in glasses.”
Sites like The Chive
—which I highly recommend—where woman #9 out of 36 is, indeed, hot even though she makes the fashion faux pas
of wearing suspenders and
a bra. Heavy.com
has a similar slide show, beginning with a spectacular lady who has her shirt unbuttoned to here, her back arched to there, and a pouty, come-hither look—and some hefty hardware—on her face.
But, why are men so attracted to women who wear glasses?
Gwynn thinks it’s based in taboo: “Guys think of women who wear glasses as smart and shy on the outside, but underneath those horn rims, they’re wildcats! Similar to how they feel about Catholic schoolgirl uniforms.”
Strauss says it could be that glasses create a nerd-girl effect, which is to say an indicator of high intelligence, which can be highly appealing—even though assuming people are smart because they wear glasses is pretty freakin’ stupid. He also suggests that glasses remind men of their mothers, which pushes us from taboo to creepy. On the other hand, is it not refreshing to read that observing brains in a woman goes straight to a man’s crotch?
Josh Gondelman, a preschool teacher writing for HelloGiggles.com
, says he feels an affinity with people who, like himself, wear glasses. He recalls the moment in She’s All That
when Rachel Leigh Cook “completes her transformation from a pretty, quirky artist to a pretty, bland prom queen…as they often do, when she takes off her glasses. I couldn’t have been the only guy watching and thinking: ‘Keep them on!’”
No, Josh, you were not. I plead guilty.
And so does Holt, as demonstrated in this passage:
He nearly lost his cool, though, when he glimpsed Sushma bent over her laptop wearing a glorious pair of glasses. And I thought she couldn’t get any hotter.
Holt had had a thing for women in glasses since tenth grade, when he got an uncharacteristically bad C-minus in English. It wasn’t his fault. Not when Mrs. Cramer had the audacity to stand in front of the class every day wearing not a single item of clothing except big, round glasses like the ones Andrea Zuckerman wore as Gabrielle on 90210. At least, that was how Holt remembered it.
In her nerd-girl frames, Sushma was Mrs. Cramer times Andrea Zuckerman, only with a darker complexion and more intriguing personality.
So what’s my deal? I guarantee you it has nothing to do with my mom, who didn’t even wear glasses when I was growing up. I guess I could say “it is what it is,” but I don’t say that. Ever. Why I can’t pass a lass in glasses without thinking “ooh-la-la” is something I can’t explain. But eye candy? I know it when I see it.