Everyone’s heard the Alfred Lord Tennyson quote, “In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.”

My question is: Really? Just in spring? After all, everyone also knows that men think about sex constantly. Or, at least, nine times a minute, which is pretty danged close to constantly.

Could be I’m confusing sex and love here. Or maybe men think about sex all the time, but love only muscles its way into the mix from April through June.

Or maybe there’s something else going on.

“The idea that men think about sex every seven seconds, like the claim that we only use ten percent of our brains,” Psychology Today says, “is often repeated but rarely sourced.” The magazine notes that, according to the Kinsey Report, fifty-four percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day, forty-three percent a few times a week or month, and four percent less than once a month.

The website What Do Men Really Think.com says men can’t possibly be thinking about sex all time, what with sports, food, bills and work keeping brain cells occupied.

“Having constant thoughts of sex has nothing to do with a lack of character or maturity,” the site says. “In men, ‘thinking’ about sex happens almost unconsciously. Sometimes they look at a curvy girl and have thoughts like ‘wow she’s hot’…without even realizing that this reaction happened. Men undress women in their mind almost unconsciously, too, without any real intention. It just happens.”

Hmmm. What study determined all that?

, no doubt a more credible source, says a Florida State University survey of studies showed most men under sixty think about sex at least once a day. The survey also said women typically fantasize about sex about half as often as men. Which means that if men think about sex every seven seconds…well, you do the math.

Anyway, what got me thinking about all this thinking wasn’t so much Tennyson as Borgman. As in Jim Borgman, author of the comic strip Zits. A few weeks ago Jeremy, the sixteen-year-old star, stared blankly into space while three bikini-clad babes used his cranial cavity as a hot tub. Jeremy’s mom said, “I can’t image what’s on his mind.” Jeremy’s dad answered, “Seriously?”

Oddly, hot tubs play a prominent role in Fast Lane. I just read a key tub scene in my writers group and got thumbs up all around.

Yeah, I’ve had my share of Jacuzzi daydreams. And not just at this time of the year.

But, honestly…every seven seconds? What with sports and food and all, who has the time?

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