The votes have been counted in the first ManWAR poll, and the results are definitive.

• 57% of you said not to mention body hair on Clay in Fast Lane
• 28% said you’d like to see some fur on his legs
• 14% gave a thumbs-up to chest hair

A veritable mandate…or womandate, if you will.

I think this demonstrates something model, TV show host and sometime Daily Show correspondent Olivia Munn says in her book, Suck It, Wonder Woman: Women like to have their brains fondled. In other words, the imagination is a powerful erogenous zone.

Which we already knew.

What we didn’t already know, companies that make shaving implements are happy to tell us. For example, a survey conducted by Remington determined that while three-fourths of women want men to “at least trim their backs to avoid looking like Neanderthals” and fourth-fifths want men to “do a little neatening to their bums,” only three out of five of ladies who are “casually dating” would like to see some trims around the groin.

We’re talking exclusively about hair, of course.

My question is: How casual can the dating be if people are getting a peek at each other’s groins?

In the Remington poll, only two out of five women under age forty voted in favor of any degree of pubic depilation. Not what I would have expected.

Chest hair was the most evenly divided category, with just over half of the casually dating and divorced respondents preferring “a simple trim so it doesn’t look like a sweater.” Two out of five, however, said dudes should leave their chest hairs grow wild and free as “a sign of masculinity.”

By contrast, respondents to a survey at a website called Mister Poll pretty much preferred guys who look like the hunks portrayed on packages of men’s underwear.

Whatever. The ManWARriors have spoken, and I will listen! Does Clay look like the Missing Link—or a clean-shaven field of flesh? It’s all in your mind’s eye.

Thanks.

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