Sex scene, not heard (part one)

The most recent batch of pages I brought to my writing group included a sex scene. Should be no big deal for serious adults, right?

Well, sure—except for the part about reading this kind of material at a table with women filling half of the seats. That problem got “solved” when the other men in the group decided to stay home for the evening.

Oh, well. What they would have said wasn’t really the issue.

Of course, there was also the chance someone would laugh. Me, for instance. Once a sixth-grader, always a sixth-grader.

But let’s be honest. Sex writing can be funny. It was a thread at a website called All About Romance, where commenters said words like “throbbing,” “pulsating” and “turgid” and references to men with “hard thighs” made them want to throw the book across the room. One said that when “aching buds” stand in for erect nipples, she “skims over it to get to the story.”

“What to do?” one commenter lamented. “We don’t want to go back to the days of the Hayes office, when one foot had to remain on the floor at all times.”

The scene in Fast Lane contains no turgidity. Nothing pulsates or throbs. There are no buds, aching or otherwise. But Lara and Clay don’t exactly have one foot on the floor. They go down on each other, have a little fun rolling a condom into place, then have sex.

It’s better than that, really. No…really! I have proof in the form of written notes from five actual women who, in the end, really did handle the assignment like serious adults.

The full report on what they said will appear in part two.

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