Men, we have pants, shirts, underwear and shoes. Well, there’s suits and ties, too. But the pants that come with a suit are just pants. And, yeah, we have specialty stuff, like sweaters, sweatshirts and sweat pants.

Now, women…women have lots of names for all this stuff. So I can’t just have Lara wearing “a dress.” She has to be wearing a “scroll border print chemise” or a “ruffled tie back dress” or a “cold shoulder dress with pleated detail on the skirt and bodice.” (That one looked pretty freakin’ hot in the photo I saw at Overstock.com. As far as I’m concerned, Lara wears stuff like that all the time.)

I’m also told that if I put her in a pleated tuxedo dress, “everyone would know what that means.”

I don’t know what that means, though, so I have to do research. Which I do not mind at all. Well, I kind of mind when it comes to shoes, because I really don’t see what the big deal is. Back when I was single, I do not remember ever thinking, “Ooh, she has great shoes. I have to meet her.”

(BTW: Lingerie research is easy. Victoria’s Secret sends it to me via snail mail six times a year.)

The Sunday paper helps out that way, too. One time, while my coffee was still steaming and the sports section was sitting in my lap yet unmemorized, I came across a photo of Lara in the—yeah, this is gonna sound dorky—Kohl’s circular. Hey, but it’s right. Being divorced and left penniless due to her ex’s bankruptcy, she’s on a budget. She would shop at Kohl’s and Overstock.com.

I cut out the photo and keep it nearby when I work. Lara—I mean, the Kohl’s model—is wearing something called a Maidenform Control It seamless strapless slip. Maidenform doesn’t exactly sound, to borrow terminology from Liquid Silver publishing, molten, but it does help get me into the mood to write.

In fact, I feel a chapter coming on right now.

%d bloggers like this: