“Wine, women and song,” the saying goes. But some research suggests a guy who wants to make a woman sing should eschew the shiraz and treat her to a jigger of Joe.

“Caffeine may put females in the mood.” So begins an article on WebMD about a Southwestern University study in which females who consumed a shot of cappuccino not only got muy grande romantic, but also were “quicker than uncaffeinated females” to demand seconds.

I did say we’re talking about rats, right? That could be important.

In a study called Coffee, Tea, and Me. researchers gave female rats who were caffeine virgins a dose of jitter juice, then observed how they behaved after hooking up.

In the study, the article says, “the caffeinated females didn’t just skitter around their cages aimlessly. Instead, they specifically sought a male sex partner.”

The obvious question is whether this means ground Arabica beans are the secret ingredient that makes Love Potion No. 9 work so much better than its eight forgotten predecessors.

Maybe not.

First, WebMD stays this business of “revisiting” the male is “a normal behavior for female rats.” Being hopped up apparently made the randy rodents scurry back faster and be a little more insistent about having their needs met.

Second, the study observed only rats who were tripping on the Big C for the first time, while their human counterparts are likely to have experienced daily doses in coffee, tea and soft drinks. On the other hand, if rats that regularly used caffeine behaved the same as those in the study, Guarraci said she’d be “more confident in saying that it would be something useful for women to consider.”

For women to consider? There must be a reason God put a Starbucks on every corner. Asking a gal out to coffee couldn’t be cheap—but have you checked the price of pinot lately?

%d bloggers like this: